Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Lately... maybe the past six months or so, I've been a bear. Well, really a jerk. Not all the time. Not even most of the time. I just have these spurts of assholeness. I don't go to extremes where I shoot puppies, pop little kids balloons, or beat people. It really bothers me since I have no idea where it comes from, and I know it bugs the crap out of people in my life. Why does this little negativity come out and snap? I am a really positive fun person (not cheerleader happy, more yell captain happy) most of the time.

Where does this short, negative, nasty, cold, jerk come from?
- Maybe it's my job that I'm tired of. 8+ hours per day of negativity can wear people down.
- Maybe it's the news I read and watch... this negative world and our crappy president are getting to me.
- Maybe it's in the genes.
- Maybe I should not do things when I don't feel like doing them... that seems to spark crappiness.
- Maybe it's just my sarcasm going way too far.
- Maybe it's all the blogs I read since we all seem to bitch about this and that.
- Maybe it's the metal music I overhear all day from the metal promotions company that shares office space with my company.

I don't want to be a jerk. Not even a jerk 1% of the time. I know LP doesn't want to be married to a jerk. I know my cats don't want to be around a jerk... although they've been really nice to me lately. It's fun to post about mean-spirited rants but I have no desire to be a mean person. Mean people don't have friends. They probably don't get any nooky either.

Not really sure what to do. If I was a jerk 25%+ of the time I'd seek some professional help, but I know that it's not me... just part of me that needs to be squashed. I don't want it to grow.

Maybe I just need to look at this photo of the more often... find my quiet place.
Sorry Cherry & LP for being a jerk last night.