Feeling The Funk.

So how to get rid of the funk? I'm not depressed... just disappointed. I don't want to curl up into a ball and bawl... I am just stuck thinking over and over about how I could done something better, or what I could of done wrong, or who could of been better than me.

Besides movies and music... a three day weekend could do the body and mind well. And skating to work seems to help my spirit too. Yep, I took that photo this morning on my way to work. Something about skating down the middle of the street early in the morning takes a lot off my mind... maybe because I am just waking up and need my brain functions to help me not fall on my face. It makes me feel young... which I still am (thirtysomething is young). I love seeing all of the people in suits staring at me like I am homeless or broke, just because I can wear jeans and skateboard to work.

I need a good three day weekend to get rid of the funk. No more writing about the funk next week. No more complaining about coming in second (or third). Medeski, Martin & Wood are playing for free tonight in the park so that might do some good... I can go spinning with a bunch of stinky hippies. Enjoy your weekends... I will.

This is the Brown Line L going over me this morning... really.

Funk. Sights. Sounds.

The the Aussie got me a gift the other night... Music & Lyrics DVD! I stayed up late (after midnight is late for me) last night watching it, which help me forget about my funk. Sure, it did not get rid of it but it did cheer me up. I love the sappy romantic comedies. Thanks Aussie!

I've also been listening to the Cocteau Twins a lot the past couple days... and mostly just listening to their "Heaven or Las Vegas" album. Not really sure why this has been my music of choice, or need lately, since I have not listened to the Cocteau Twins in probably ten years. But it seems to do me well... I think.

The funny thing about the "Heaven or Las Vegas" album... I went to see them on that tour (way back in 1990). Mazzy Star opened. I was really really sick, I had a fever of 103, but I wanted to go so bad. The girl sitting behind me was trying to sing along, although not very well... since most of the songs are not in English (she probably did not know that) so she was just making sounds. It was so annoying... even with out burning fever. I turned around and told her to go f herself, then got up, went to the bathroom and threw up.

These are the sounds and sights of my funk. I won't let it go on too much longer... and I am hoping better things are a head. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, and you guys aren't liars... are you?

Batting .000

There are times in life when things just don't go your way... ok, go my way. I try really hard and work at something to improve my life and just seem to run up against failure after failure. Through all of these efforts there are small glimmers of hope, which bring on excitement... but sadly they just come up short.

What do I do? I get sad. I get frustrated. I take it personally. I feel stuck. I spend way too much time feeling sorry for myself believing the idea that there is no one out there to help me reach my goals. People in my life tell me very supportive things, that this will be the one... but then would they really shoot me down? No.

Without the right network of people in your life, sometimes certain goals are unachievable. Right?

I'm just stuck, and I hate being stuck and unhappy.

FredSox: Last Game.

The longest softball season is finally coming to an end tonight. The FredSox are playing our last game of the season... the season that started May 22, and the season that was supposed to be over with on July 10. It is now August 28 and we are playing game number seven. Yep, seven. Over a three month span we have played seven games. What a headache. Now the problems we are facing:

1. It is too dark to play. By the time our game is half over you cannot see the ball which is really scary.
2. Our team is quiting. We had 17 on the roster, but we are down to ten, and you need ten to play... so hopefully everyone shows tonight.

After the season is over we have playoffs... which by our record (3-2-1) we will make the cut, but I really don't want to play anymore. The league is lifeless and just kind of an all around bummer. When team members start quitting that kind of pops the balloon.

Oh well, there is always next summer.

UPDATED: 12:53pm... the team we are playing called in a forfeit so we win. But we don't get to play. Crap!

Idea: Top 100.

About six months ago Cherry was telling me about this idea of a top 100 list (it was cold outside and we were in a smokey bar)... the top 100 albums of all time. This would be completely my opinion, but there are a couple limitations:

1. Only one album per band. So the Beatles cannot have ten albums in the list (which I would never do anyway).
2. No best of compilations. That's a cheater's way out.

So this is what I am going to get working on. Due date? Not sure. My goal is to have it done by the end of the year... and maybe give an update here or there. It gives me something to get brain working on something completely meaningless, frustrating, and fun.

But I guarantee it will be better than this guy's top Albums list.