Tyra.

This week I have been taking my lunch during the noon hour... instead of the one o'clock hour. So this means there is different tv on. Now Judge Maria Lopez is pretty good, but the best show on at noon is by far Tyra. Tyra is my new best TV friend. She is really there for the viewer. She gets to the heart of the matter. She is there to make the world a better place.

This past week Tyra has:
Shopped with Nicole Richie.
Tyra went to Nicole's favorite places where Nicole showed her the face cream she buys for $300. After Tyra took Nicole to a 99 cents store where Tyra showed off the face cream she buys for 99 cents.
Became a stripper.
Tyra went undercover to try and find out why men are obsessed with strip clubs. It was so moving that she cried.
Gone inside the world of pedophiles on the internet.
Tyra, with the help from police officers, exposed dirty yucky men showing their wieners off to under aged girls.

She covers it all. She is my new tv pal.

Chicago.

I am happy I live in Chicago... plain and simple. I think this city is great.

The Devil Wears NYC.

So I am currently reading "The Devil Wears Prada" and it is making miss me NYC a little. Here are some of things I miss about the City:

1. Mayrose. Best Mac-n-Cheese ever.
2. Alice In Wonderland in Central Park. My place to think and to escape.
3. Hearing the same train conductor every morning say "QueensboundFTrain."
4. The hustle and bustle. I just love big cities.
5. Little cups of coffee.
6. Everything being deliverable.
7. The Brooklyn Bridge. I loved spending time there.
8. The Empire State Building. It was the same costs going to the top as it was to see a movie... so I often decided to go to the top and look at the city.
9. Friends. I do miss my friends... but so many of them have left the city too.

I am sure I would not want to live there ever again... it was fun in my twentysomething years, but now I think more about the future and buying a house and saving money... not living paycheck to paycheck as I did in NYC. Plus Manhattan is turning into a big shopping mall with every major chain moving in. And Macy's blows.

Daley's small key / Jackass 2.

The most amusing story I read this past weekend was the one about Tom Petty receiving the key to the city in his hometown of Gainesville, FL. After Gainesville Mayor Pegeen Hanrahan presented each band member with a key to the city and proclaimed Sept. 21 as "Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Day, " Petty announced "It's a lot nicer than the one we got in Chicago." Ouch. I guess Petty was trying to give props to his hometown and make them feel good for a day... especially since he has not played there in over thirteen years. Poor Chicago... getting dumped on again.

On a completely different subject... Jackass 2 was the number one movie this past weekend ($28.1 million) AND it received a review of two thumbs up. Crazy indeed. I wish Aussie Richard was in Chicago... I am sure he would be game to go see that with me.

Gopher vs. Beaver.

A conversation overheard on the Brown line last night between a group of twentysomething girls:

Girl 1: What is that? A gopher or a beaver?
Girl 2: I think it's a gopher.
Girl 3: No, no... It's a beaver. See it has a flattened tail for making dams.
Girl 1: Then what is a gopher?
Girl 3: You know those things that live underground.
Girl 1: (looking puzzled)
Girl 2: You know what a gopher is... you know that movie "Groundhog Day."
Girl 1: Oh yeah!

Soundtrack of my day.

At the end of my Friday I got home, picked up the mail, and opened a piece of mail I had been waiting for. I was crushed when I read it over and realized the letter contained crappy news. Full on shitty news. Sniff Sniff. Boo Hoo. Et cetera. Et cetera. To add to the lovely event, it was dark and stormy weather outside (to enhance the experience)... not to mention how awful the White Sox had been playing this past week (the nail in the coffin).

LP and I decided to skip our last Sox game of the season partially since it looked like it would rain out, and partially because I was blue (so blue I was almost purple). Not wanting to go out to eat we went to the grocery store to pick up some things (green beans, candy, wine, and beer... don't ask). We walked into the store and what song is blasting... yes, that's right: "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. Nothing like a little salt on the wounds.

Just a part time hooker.

I've been trying to get away from my desk at lunch and take a break from staring at the computer screen. Since I always bring my lunch to work I have started spending my lunch break in the office "family room" area. There are couches, tables, and a TV. The office is pretty loud, so I just cannot focus enough to read, so I have been turning on the television for thirty minutes. My show of choice this past week has been Maury.

During a commercial break on Maury yesterday I flipped a channel back and noticed Jerry Springer was on (the lowest in low of all media). A guest on Springer was telling her husband/boyfriend/whatever that she had been working as a prostitute. Crazy. I happened to say out loud (sort of to the television) "That is the last thing I would ever do... date a prostitute." One of the interns happened to hear me and replied "I have." What? He went on to tell me that he had dated a few, but it was ok since they were only "part-time hookers." Hello what? Maybe it's because he is from Las Vegas... maybe that is a common practice there.

How has this conversation changed my life? I now will be covering the toilet seat in the office with a full roll of paper towel and then a couple sheets of tin foil just to be safe.

Cannot wake up.

So I am making an effort to update my blog more often (if you could not tell). And I believe I have something interesting to write about, but today is just one of those days that I cannot seem to wake up (or think). I got plenty of sleep last night... and good sleep (I think... but remember I cannot think this morning). But my eyes just seem to want to stay shut. I almost fell asleep walking to work this morning. Not sure if I would have fallen asleep if my body would have just kept walking, or if I would have fallen over. Glad I did not find out.

I found this useful link this morning for tips on staying awake at work. The sad part is it's a little too serious (and total common sense)... I was looking for some comic relief while waking up. But it did have some warnings that I found pretty funny:

Warnings
1. Taking too many breaks might get you in trouble with the boss.
2. Consuming too much caffeine to stay awake at work may disrupt your sleep pattern.
3. Loud music can annoy your coworkers.

DVRs.

I just would like to let everyone know that about a month ago LP and I took the jump to the DVR (some call it Tivo). Life will never go back to a non-DVR state. Monday and Tuesday nights are not good for Monday and Tuesday TV. So Wednesday night is now Monday night TV night. And now if we really want to veg on the couch and zone on television... we don't have to settle for what is on. Yea for DVRs! Now what happened to our old VCR?

Sarah wants to lose her virginity to you.

Am I the last person to catch on to this whole Jane Magazine frenzy? For those not in the know, Jane magazine is helping Sarah DiMuro find Mr. First... not necessarily Mr. Right. It's totally crazy. Totally stupid. Totally a waste of time. And it keeps me coming back to her blog to check out what is going on.

The little blurb next to Sarah's portrait would make someone like me sick... "Meet Sarah. She's funny, gorgeous and hopes to lose her virginity by her 30th birthday in November. She came to JANE for help meeting guys." But the blog is filled with some classic comments like "Wow. I hate him. I'm sure this is one of those 'in person he's a great guy' things but... For somebody who doesn't care if you're a virgin, he sure mentions it a lot." Maybe as a guy I missed years of reading Cosmo but this crap is entertaining... at least for this week. Maybe next week I will graduate to Cosmo.

Baseball Trip: Detroit

Day 4
Comerica Park.
The Orioles beat the Indians 12-9 (10).


Comerica Park is great. Plain and simple. There is so much going on in that ballpark that you don't even need to watch the game. They have these massive statues of tigers everywhere. Totally impressive. They have a carousel with tigers on it. They have a ferris wheel where each car is a baseball. And with all of these added attractions they incorporate the history of the team. The park is done so well... and to see my first game with a sell out crowd was tops.

Detroit is still Detroit. Since my family roots are from Detroit (not the suburbs) I have been to the city many times. The house where my father grew up is still there, and it is in good shape (near Van Dyke & Harper). We could not find the Hitsville USA house and my Aunt said it was torn down. But we could find nothing on the internet that ever said it was destroyed. Too bad we did not have the address with us when we were looking for it... we just knew the general location (it's near the train station). Oh well.

The major downside of Detroit... Jorts are really popular.

Baseball Trip: Cleveland

Day 3
Jacobs Field.
The Twins beat the Indians 4-1.

Cleveland seems to always be sleeping:
Cleveland is one of those cities that is not great, but not bad. It's just kind of there with some highlights. The downtown is pretty dead after business hours... which means the weekends are dead too. The Radisson is much better than the one in Cincinnati. I guess there is some underground part to the city that is happening and hip, but we heard about this after we left.

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum is worth the $20 visit. It's more like a 101 version of rock, but there are some great things inside. The highlights in the museum for me were:
1. Mama Cass' dress... she really was that fat.
2. The van from the Wetlands in NYC.
3. The Thirty Ought Six 7" in the grunge section.
4. The actual Talking Heads "More Songs About Buildings And Food" (1978) artwork. Wow... super amazing.
5. Realizing the everyone famous in music is under 5'9".
6. The giant hot dog from the Phish live show. I'm not a fan of Phish... but just thinking about all of those hippy-veggies flipping out on shrooms or acid at the show and then seeing this gigantic hot dog... they must of crapped their pants!

Jacobs Field is cool (but not super fantastic)... much like Sox Park in Chicago (although I like Chicago better... gee, wonder why). It's main highlight is the jumbo-tron screen which is amazing. Super clear and super big. Plus the night we were there it was 80's night and they were giving out Cleveland Indian's Rubik's Cubes.

Baseball Trip: Pittsburgh

Day 2
PNC Park.
The Pirates beat the Mets 5-3.


Why Pittsburgh is Great:
1. PNC Park. A simple and beautiful ballpark. It shows off it's history really well... and it shows off the city's cool water fronts.
2. The Primanti's Sandwich! Go to the original location in the Strip (no, not that kind of stripping) District.
3. The Duquesne Incline. Very tourist thing to do... but way cool. Worth the $3.50 ride.
4. Mattress Factory. The best installation museum I have ever been to.
5. Good people with civic pride. People in Pittsburgh are proud to be there... and they wear their Pirates hats even though the team sucks this year. No lame ass wanna-be Yankees fans to be seen!
6. Tunnels & Bridges. Lots of both. And who doesn't like a good tunnel or bridge!?
7. The Pirates beat the Mets which made the little kid behind us finally stop talking.

Baseball Trip: Cincinnati.

Day 1
The Great American Ballpark.
The Padres beat the Reds 4-2.

Why Cincinnati blows:
1. You have to stop at every intersection for a red light. Every intersection.
2. The Radisson in Covington, Ky smells like mildew... and ass.
3. The Radisson smells so awful you end up not thinking straight and forgetting a bag in the hotel room (yep... left my bag there).
4. Do not trust the Bottoms Up review on City Search unless you think a "Great for family, or your significant other. The kind of place you are consistently impressed with" is looking for a cracked-out hooker sitting out front of a seedy dive.
5. Not many people live there, but their rush hour traffic is awful.
6. Adam Dunn's theme music is "Sister Christian." Really.
7. The Cincinnati Reds Lager is not very good.
8. It's in Ohio.

John & Johnny.

Three years ago today Johnny Cash and John Ritter passed away. I still miss them both.

Posts.

Thank you to all of you who post comments that try to direct me to your smut filled sites... you really make this blog a whole lot crappier. Wonder how it feels to grow up and spend all of your time spamming people's blogs. YOU ARE A BIG PIECE OF SHIT.

Football vs. Network.

So Autumn must be approaching because so much attention around me is all about football. ESPN seems to be covering football 24-7. The Tribune has moved the terrible Cubs (currently in last place) to page three or four of the Sports section... and the White Sox reviews are getting smaller and smaller (especially when they lose).

Last year I swore to try to get into football, professional football. Chicago gets so absorb with the Bears during the football season, so I decided to jump on the bandwagon. Last year I jumped... and missed the wagon. I was not hooked. And the Bears even made it to the playoffs... so it was a lack a winning to make me bored. Plus I tend to like college football. I grew up going to Stanford football games, and LP is a huge Tennessee Vols fan (which make me one too). But I just did not become a fan of pro football.

So last night was the opening of the new football season... on a Thursday night. Lots of hoopla about football now on NBC (I guess it wasn't on NBC before, or something like that). The Steelers vs. the Dolphins. I watched about twenty minutes and pretty much gave up. Boring. That sums up my thoughts about what I was watching. The Sox were on another channel getting their ass kicked by the Indians... so I gave up on watching sports all together for the night. I had recorded "Network" which I had always wanted to see... and then I fell asleep on the couch after watching about an hour of it.

Thought for the day.

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes."
- Frieda Norris