Monday, January 12, 2009


Being unemployed is one of the worst feelings I have ever had.  It is a feeling of worthlessness and not being wanted or needed.

I was laid off at the end of 2008 by the small company I was employed with for nearly nine years.  I worked extremely hard at being the best project / production manager for all of my clients, and was very proud at the loyalty they showed me.  Sure I probably got a little too comfortable at times, being that my job was in the music industry and it was probably going to come to an end at some time because of declining CD sales.  I brought in the most money for the company and was with them for the longest amount of time - and I was rewarded by getting let go.

I was not only let go, I got the official word on the day LP and I were going into the hospital for her induction for the birth of our first child.  Although this was a very hard pill to swallow I also realized that this was a true and clear sign that I no longer needed to put so much hard work and effort into a company for a boss who could do that to me.  Oh, and it got worse since I had to sit on a conference call a week or so later where my boss let the rest of the company know that they were all getting raises and how things would be so great in 2009.

I know... I am better off not there.  But my ex-coworkers (who I miss) still have a job... and I don't.  And my boss keeps calling and emailing to check in with me.  He just wants to make sure I get a new job soon so he can stop feeling bad for himself.  He took the big risk by getting rid of me, and thought all of my clients would stay (hint: they didn't).

Being unemployed in a city where my network for getting a new job is slim is rough.  I am struggling to find leads, and I am struggling to understand how I am going to get a job.  I am trying so very hard to stay positive... but it difficult when my former boss keeps contacting me.