iSuck.

I am not a fan of Apple Computers (now just Apple, or Apple Inc, or something like that since they don't just make computers... they make a lifestyle... so does that include condoms?). I am not a flag-waiving PC fan either, I just use what best suits my needs. But it seems like people who are into Apple are way into Apple. They drink the Kool-Aid. They get the Apple tattoos. Sad.

I have a Mac at work because I need it for graphics. The battery lasts about 45 minutes tops. Gee that's great. And my iPod holds a charge for about 30-45 minutes as well. Lovely. The best part (sarcasm implied) is in the winter on my walks to work when it is around or below 15-20 degrees my iPod loses it... it freezes up, it shuts down, it stays on the same song over and over - and on a good cold day it will keep a fully charged battery for about 15 minutes. So that makes the second half of my walk music free. Boooo. And you can tell me that in the cold weather electronics don't work right... but my smartphone works fine (no problems at all).

I agree that Apple make some cool looking products, and on some levels seems to be a step ahead of the game. But I cannot wait for next winter in Chicago when all those people have the new iPhone and none of them work right. I'm not saying don't buy Apple... I'm saying don't buy things based on the fact that everyone else has one and they come in a cool box... and please don't drink the Cupertino Kool-Aid.

Cold.

Question: How cold is it in Chicago this morning?
Answer: So cold that on my walk to work this morning my eyes would not stop leaking, my nose would not stop running, and I realized that my mouth was frozen and the tears and snot were bouncing off my lower lip and running down my chin. To add to this lovely sight... I discovered I was drooling. So with all of that mixed in and I had a lovely frozen tearsnotdrool waterfall on my chin. Yes I had tissues, but my constant wiping was losing the battle, and it added little pieces of white tissue to my face.
Next time this happens I'll get a picture of it for you all. Yea for winter!

So Many Lines.

This past weekend I watched the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire... for the first time. It was on the television Sunday morning so I watched it (commercials and all). It's just one of the movies that I had never seen (probably because Tom Cruise annoys the hell out of me). And since I truly believed that I was the last person on the earth not to have seen it - I watched it.

There are so many famous (or just over-used?) lines in the movie. I could not believe it. I knew about the "Show me the money," but I did not know that "You complete me," and "Help me help you" came from this movie. Crazy. My entire world view has changed (not really) and I understand (or get the joke*) more... just because I watched Jerry Maguire.

All in all it was an average movie that I'll probably never watch again, but at least I can say I've seen it.
*Note: Austin Powers is more funny now.

Me (kind of).

Happy Friday. In honor of all of you bloggers that have a real photo of yourself on your profile, and those that put personal photos on your posts... I am sharing with you a photo of me. I know you're all dying to know what I look like. Well here I am, kind of. OK, baby steps. I am not ready to expose myself to the world like some of you are... I am not as tough as you all. I was going to change my profile photo... but I have been Clifford the Big Red Dog for a good amount of time, I think I will keep him around.

I took this photo a few weeks ago in downtown Chicago at the Bean.

A Cocaine Question.

I'm not sure why this is my post today - most likely because I listened to Blondie ("Parallel Lines") this morning...

Can someone explain coke mirrors to me? I know what they are used for... I just do not understand why they have to be mirrors. Do they have to be mirrors? Can't people use anything that has a smooth and flat surface to cut their coke on? If they have to be mirrors, why has no one come out with a line of fashionable coke mirrors? Maybe they have and I'm just living in the dark.

I've never tried cocaine for three simple reasons:
1. Too expensive, and none of my friends were ever into it. I'd rather buy new records than cocaine.
2. If I ever did it I'd probably get caught and get thrown in jail... and we all know that going to jail is not a good thing.
3. I'd be that one guy who did it once and died. Everyone would be sitting around my dead body (high as a kite) saying "Dude, I can't believe he died. Dude, he died! Dude, HE DIED! Let's go dump him in the Chicago River." Yeah... not fun.